Evangelicals are celebrating like crazy with the news of Roe being overturned and women losing bodily autonomy in half the US. Chick-fil-A’s are absolutely packed and their parking lots have honking SUV’s and people tailgating with chicken sandwiches and sparkling grape juice. “It’s unreal”, a white male evangelical with his housewife in tow stated, “I’ve been fighting for this moment my whole adult life and now it’s here”. Wheaton College (IL) which has even tried to restrict birth control access is putting on a fireworks show this Sunday night at Blanchard Hall. A school spokesman stated, “This is the best day of our entire lives; God has had a hand in this, especially electing a rapist president and appointing a rapist Supreme Court justice. God works in mysterious ways. They say pray to God but pack the Supreme Court to overturn Roe”.
